100 Items on My Christmas List: 2015 Edition

The season for festivities, tidings, nog, and yule will be here before you know it. What will Santa Klaus bring me this year? I can only hope it’s one of the following items from my Christmas list…

  1. The glamour of Hollywood
  2. Fetid mistletoe
  3. Carly Rae Jepson’s preferred mixologist
  4. The eternal flame of Belinda Carlisle’s eyeliner
  5. A permanent position on fleek
  6. A trio of naval officers named Dave, David, and Davey
  7. Grace under fire under the stars
  8. Rotterdam
  9. An ever growing appreciation of Stephanie J Block
  10. The waning hope of the people of Syria
  11. A Smithsonian exhibit of National Geographic’s free world maps
  12. Something after time besides time
  13. The Rocky Balboa Picture Show
  14. Marinated truths
  15. Mr. T’s Mobile
  16. The delight of spring
  17. Beijing’s Hujialou Station in oils
  18. Tilda Swinton-flavored Turkish delight
  19. A statue of Sean Hannity’s hubris
  20. My Anmar
  21. A hug from the color coquelicot
  22. Hastily-arranged freckles
  23. Wedded bliss
  24. A studio apartment in Eddie Cibrian’s left dimple
  25. Alex Rodriguez’s crippling inferiority complex
  26. Fond reflections of a bygone era
  27. The former exuberance of a Jack Russell terrier
  28. The eternal flame of Don Knott’s comedy
  29. Leaflets concerning syphilis
  30. An Internet posting about crossfit activities
  31. Ramin Karimloo’s sweat
  32. Ambidextrous beavers
  33. The view from the bridge
  34. A close relationship with a dalmatian named Ralph
  35. Crackling speakers
  36. Pesky emotional fax machines
  37. Harmonious Cypriot tidings
  38. My Aangelou
  39. Audra McDonald’s green bean casserole recipe
  40. An adequate defense against the gum disease known as gingivitis
  41. Deep sea fishing rights
  42. A successful pickup game with Hunter Strickland
  43. Mediocre monopolies on meaningless markets
  44. Color printing
  45. Wood carvings of 1920s American mailbox art
  46. Loquacious beef sliders
  47. Meadham Kirchhoff’s dystopian vision
  48. Carrie Fisher’s malaise
  49. Porcelain petulance
  50. Effervescent ruination of the people of New Jersey
  51. A variety of aces of spades
  52. Maritime law
  53. Justin Beiber and lavender Oreos
  54. Munificent bongos
  55. The hardening of Kathy Najimy’s resolve
  56. Histrionics
  57. A lifetime free of the jejune hip hop
  58. The Verducci Effect
  59. Pi’s 94th numeral
  60. Never ending chairs
  61. Passive limes
  62. Authentic Moroccan Cuisine
  63. The cheerful togetherness of 2 PM Eastern, 1 PM Central
  64. The eternal flame of Centralia
  65. Red tape
  66. A stocking full of Gerrit Cole
  67. A hot tub powered by Julian Edelman’s smolder
  68. Aggressive USB cords
  69. A mustard-stained Nasir Mazhar sports bra
  70. Heavy handed church mice
  71. A night of racketeering with Marin Cilic
  72. All I care to enjoy lumberjacks
  73. Hydrogen
  74. A ring around Rosie O’Donnell
  75. A chance encounter with a boutique of hemlock trees
  76. Diabolical gingers
  77. Carrie Brownstein’s overt gestures
  78. Lonesome graffiti artisans
  79. Confrontational royalists
  80. Elements
  81. The furious, capricious howls of Tony Danza
  82. Equine empowerment
  83. Imaginary geometry study groups
  84. A penguin fight club refereed by Danny DeVito
  85. Fizzy silk traders
  86. An intergalactic polar bear pirate named Commander Roderick Rufflestuff
  87. Betty White’s memory charms
  88. Compassionate clairvoyance
  89. Digital asset management
  90. A cleansing of abusive Floridians
  91. Rare bananas and the women they love
  92. Six apricots previously consumed by Liza Minelli
  93. Dropped calls
  94. The illogical invasion of the Andorran people
  95. A dramatic college major
  96. Greater pull with the incapacitated quadruped community
  97. Asia
  98. A decadent family of lemons
  99. Jessica Chastain’s serenity
  100. Parasitic pig glands

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