The season for festivities, tidings, nog, and yule will be here before you know it. What will Santa Klaus bring me this year? I can only hope it’s one of the following items from my Christmas list…

1. The glamour of Hollywood
2. Fetid mistletoe
3. Carly Rae Jepson’s preferred mixologist
4. The eternal flame of Belinda Carlisle’s eyeliner
5. A permanent position on fleek
6. A trio of naval officers named Dave, David, and Davey
7. Grace under fire under the stars
8. Rotterdam
9. An ever growing appreciation of Stephanie J Block
10. The waning hope of the people of Syria
11. A Smithsonian exhibit of National Geographic’s free world maps
12. Something after time besides time
13. The Rocky Balboa Picture Show
14. Marinated truths
15. Mr. T’s Mobile
16. The delight of spring
17. Beijing’s Hujialou Station in oils
18. Tilda Swinton-flavored Turkish delight
19. A statue of Sean Hannity’s hubris
20. My Anmar
21. A hug from the color coquelicot
22. Hastily-arranged freckles
23. Wedded bliss
24. A studio apartment in Eddie Cibrian’s left dimple
25. Alex Rodriguez’s crippling inferiority complex
26. Fond reflections of a bygone era
27. The former exuberance of a Jack Russell terrier
28. The eternal flame of Don Knott’s comedy
29. Leaflets concerning syphilis
30. An Internet posting about crossfit activities
31. Ramin Karimloo’s sweat
32. Ambidextrous beavers
33. The view from the bridge
34. A close relationship with a dalmatian named Ralph
35. Crackling speakers
36. Pesky emotional fax machines
37. Harmonious Cypriot tidings
38. My Aangelou
39. Audra McDonald’s green bean casserole recipe
40. An adequate defense against the gum disease known as gingivitis
41. Deep sea fishing rights
42. A successful pickup game with Hunter Strickland
43. Mediocre monopolies on meaningless markets
44. Color printing
45. Wood carvings of 1920s American mailbox art
46. Loquacious beef sliders
47. Meadham Kirchhoff’s dystopian vision
48. Carrie Fisher’s malaise
49. Porcelain petulance
50. Effervescent ruination of the people of New Jersey
51. A variety of aces of spades
52. Maritime law
53. Justin Beiber and lavender Oreos
54. Munificent bongos
55. The hardening of Kathy Najimy’s resolve
56. Histrionics
57. A lifetime free of the jejune hip hop
58. The Verducci Effect
59. Pi’s 94th numeral
60. Never ending chairs
61. Passive limes
62. Authentic Moroccan Cuisine
63. The cheerful togetherness of 2 PM Eastern, 1 PM Central
64. The eternal flame of Centralia
65. Red tape
66. A stocking full of Gerrit Cole
67. A hot tub powered by Julian Edelman’s smolder
68. Aggressive USB cords
69. A mustard-stained Nasir Mazhar sports bra
70. Heavy handed church mice
71. A night of racketeering with Marin Cilic
72. All I care to enjoy lumberjacks
73. Hydrogen
74. A ring around Rosie O’Donnell
75. A chance encounter with a boutique of hemlock trees
76. Diabolical gingers
77. Carrie Brownstein’s overt gestures
78. Lonesome graffiti artisans
79. Confrontational royalists
80. Elements
81. The furious, capricious howls of Tony Danza
82. Equine empowerment
83. Imaginary geometry study groups
84. A penguin fight club refereed by Danny DeVito
85. Fizzy silk traders
86. An intergalactic polar bear pirate named Commander Roderick Rufflestuff
87. Betty White’s memory charms
88. Compassionate clairvoyance
89. Digital asset management
90. A cleansing of abusive Floridians
91. Rare bananas and the women they love
92. Six apricots previously consumed by Liza Minelli
93. Dropped calls
94. The illogical invasion of the Andorran people
95. A dramatic college major
96. Greater pull with the incapacitated quadruped community
97. Asia
98. A decadent family of lemons
99. Jessica Chastain’s serenity
100. Parasitic pig glands