Disney March Maleness: The Finals

It’s here. The final match of Disney March Maleness. The votes have been cast and tallied. I am pleased to announce that the two finalists for the Disney March Maleness crown are…

Tim Tracker vs Drunk At Disney

Tim Tracker & Drunk At Disney

Now before you go vote, I want to tell you about our final surprise. We will be adding some excitement for the championship match.

Here’s the deal:

  • The Disney March Maleness finals will take place from 12:01 AM (ET) Friday, March 27 – 11:59 PM (ET) Saturday, March 28. That means you have 2 days to vote instead of the usual 1 day.
  • Each dollar that you pledge to donate to Give Kids the World Village (@GKTWVillage) will count as a vote for Tim Tracker
  • Each dollar that you pledge to donate to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society (@mssociety) will count as a vote for Drunk At Disney
  • Of course you do not have to donate! You can continue to vote in the manner we have been leading up to the finals and that will count as one vote for your guy!
  • I will tally all votes and donations and the winner will be announced Sunday, March 29, at noon (ET)

Disney March Maleness has always been about raising awareness and funds for worthy causes. Tim and Drunkie have been incredible in supporting this contest and talking about their respective organizations. I have pledged to donate $100 to the winner’s cause, and I hope with your support we can raise significantly more for BOTH guys’ causes.

Some notes on voting:

  • Please @ mention the organization that you are pledging to donate to. Their twitter handles are above. I would like for them to see that this is happening!
  • Please @ mention the guy who you are casting your vote for.
  • Please use #DisneyMarchMaleness in your tweet casting your vote and/or pledging your donation

So here’s what your vote might look like:

“I’m pledging $__ to @mssociety for @DrunkAtDisney! #DisneyMarchMaleness”

It’s that simple!

But two last things:
Please follow through with your pledge. If you say you will donate $XX to Give Kids the World or the National MS Society, Tim, Drunkie, and I take you at your word that you will do so. To not would be a violation of the spirit of the tournament. I also ask that you do not pledge any donation under the condition that your guy wins. That is to say, please don’t pledge to give to the National MS Society ONLY if Drunk At Disney wins. Give out of the goodness of your heart, regardless of the outcome.

That’s it. This is nearly the end of Disney March Maleness. Good luck to Tim and Drunkie. I hope we can end this tournament on a bang and make all the contestants proud to have been part of this great game!

I sincerely thank everybody who has voted, and deeply appreciate all the guys who competed in the tournament.


Disney March Maleness: Adonis Eight Preview

To say that inventing Disney March Maleness is the highlight of my month would be an understatement. We’ve gotten the hashtag trending in several places in the United States, thousands of votes have been cast, people are pledging money to great charitable organizations, the contestants are raising awareness for those causes with fantastic videos, and people are having a great time with the wackiness of it all.

Beginning Wednesday, 3/25, you’ll be able to cast votes in the matches below, determining the Disney March Maleness Final Four. To vote, simply @ mention the man who sets your heart aflutter with the hashtag. E.g. if you want to vote for Drunk At Disney, just tweet “I vote for @DrunkAtDisney in #DisneyMarchMaleness!” It’s that easy.

Remember that our guys are playing for great causes, so be sure to read up and vote for the guy with the most compelling cause. Now, on to the Adonis Eight…

Rob Yeo Vs. Disney Hipster Keith
Rob Yeo vs. Disney Hipster Keith

You, standing on the shores of Asbury Park, looking out on an ocean so vast that it feels like your love could never bridge the distance between you and him. Meanwhile, on the beach-side fields of Portishead, he stands at the edge of England looking west. He longs for your kiss, to be wrapped in your warm embrace, and to tremble when you hold him. “Keith,” he’ll say to you. “I can’t abide the distance between us any longer. Let’s move to Disney World.” You’ll hold him tightly in your arms, look longingly into his eyes and say, “Rob, I simply can’t afford a bungalow at the Poly. It just won’t work.” Heartbroken, you’ll pull away from each other as the coming tears make your eyes burn. “I guess this is goodbye, my love,” he’ll say to you. “Yes, ’tis,” you’ll reply. “Goodbye, my dearest Robbie. Or as they say in your country—cheerio, mate!” Your love was never meant to last; now you must battle to the death.

Tim Tracker vs. Ricky Stump
Tim Tracker vs. Ricky Stump

Ricky awoke with a start, drenched in a cold sweat, and filled with terror. He had been hearing them for days: their persistent marching, their truculent voices growing ever louder, their haughty breaths pulsating like heartbeats out of their flaring nostrils. They came with pitchforks—torches in hand, with a mantra so ferocious as to shake heaven itself with its velocity: “NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY THE PRICE! NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY THE PRICE! NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY THE PRICE! NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY THE PRICE! NOW IT’S TIME TO PAY THE PRICE!” Ricky shuddered, shoved the dystopian nightmare from his brain, and went downstairs to the kitchen. He thought it was early morning, but saw from the clock that it was already 10:30. His wife Megan was at the table, a half-eaten bowl of Fruit Loops in front of her, utterly engrossed in her phone. “Morning,” he said to her. “Hey sweetie,” she replied, not looking up. “What do you want to do today?” she asked. Ricky considered his options for a moment, smiled, and said, “The same thing we do every day, my dear. Live that sweet ass Stump lifestyle.” Megan, startled, dropped her phone, looked up at her husband, and cried out with a passion she hardly knew lived inside of her, “I love you so freaking much, Ricky Stump!”

Brandon Glover vs. Drunk At Disney
Brandon Glover vs. Drunk At Disney

The chickens could not fly for they had no wings. They waddled around the coop, unbalanced, and yearning for the air. They wanted to escape this place before the drunkard and his smoke monster returned. Gertrude, the oldest and wisest of the chickens had devised a plan of escape—they would construct an airplane large enough to fly all of them over the fence and on to safety. The chickens completed their makeshift plane just as Drunkie and the viciously sexy smoke monster entered the coop to grab them. Gertrude led the chickens in an open revolt against the fearsome duo. In the ensuing melee, the chickens were able to board the plane when Gertrude created a diversion. The chickens continued their flight to freedom, eventually establishing their own sanctuary far from the deadly coop outside Maryland Fried Chicken. The Drunkard and his smoke monster, having no more chicken wings to eat, simply devoured each other with their love.

Turkey Leg Jeff vs. Schmoofy

Turkey Leg Jeff vs. Schmoofy

Consuelo and I are sitting on the balcony outside the Main Street station of the Walt Disney World Railroad. She’s eating a box of the salty popcorn from the cart at the bottom of the stairs, and I’m chomping on a turkey leg (naturally). “Tilda told me that you are in the quarter finals of Disney March Madness. She says she’s voting for you.” “That’s cool. It’s been a fun contest. Whether I win or lose, I’ve had a lot of fun. All the guys have been really nice and they even posted videos and pictures and stuff.” “Did you meet anybody special? Get any dates out of it?” she asked. “No,” I answered curtly. “That sucks,” Consuelo replied. “Yeah,” I said. “Life sucks.” “It sure does,” I replied, as I put a comforting arm around her shoulder and looked out on a perfectly sun-splashed right down the middle of Main Street USA.

Disney March Maleness: Lost Boys & Beast Round 2 Preview

It was Saturday night and Brandon and Trig had me worn out. They just kept pounding me with more Disney March Maleness votes. The day climaxed with both guys advancing to the 2nd round of Disney March Maleness. Along with Dan (@NJ_Tree) and Drunk At Disney, the Lost Boys got #DisneyMarchMaleness trending in Orlando. I am surprised and humbled at how enthusiastically people have embraced this competition—over 3000 votes have been cast!

Beginning Tuesday, 3/24, you’ll be able to cast votes in the matches below. To vote, simply @ mention the man who sets your heart aflutter with the hashtag. E.g. if you want to vote for Drunk At Disney, just tweet “I vote for @DrunkAtDisney in #DisneyMarchMaleness!” It’s that easy.

Remember that our guys are playing for great causes, so be sure to read up and vote for the guy with the most compelling cause. Now, on to the round 2 matches.

Brandon Glover vs. Triggernel

Brandon Glover vs. Triggernel

Can the sexy smoke monster be evaporated by the Scandinavian sex god? It’s the burning question of the Disney March Maleness tournament. Fun fact: these two guys got the same number of votes in the first round, and from a lot of the same people. Now all of central Florida will have to ask themselves which of these Superfriends to support. On the one hand, you have the cool confidence of Brandon—a man so confident that he posts pictures of himself eating barbecue. On the other, you have the brash Trig—full of youthful vigor and more than a few shenanigans to get him votes (see his American flag underwear pic for details.) This one is within the margin of error, and I’m happy to cuddle up with either of these two in that tight space.

NJ_Tree vs. Drunk At Disney

Dan NJ_Tree vs. Drunk At Disney

These two guys campaigned better than Obama in their first round matches and it paid off for both. Drunkie easily topped Jim Hill and slid into the next round. Dan, on the other hand, unleashed a charm offensive unmatched by anyone else in the competition. With less than 100 Twitter followers, the tree from New Jersey racked up the 2nd most votes of the day. While I would still call a victory of Drunk At Disney an upset, I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility. However, as you can see from the pic above, nobody can slam back a plate of ribs like Drunkie, and what could be sexier than that?

Turkey Leg Jeff vs. Kevin Quigley

Turkey Leg Jeff vs. Kevin Quigley

I was shocked that I cruised into the 2nd round. Not because I’m not the epitome of Disney Maleness, but because my competition was the fabulous Guy Selga, whose fans are numerous. Now I’ve got a big head and am ready to take down Kevin on my road to being crowned Prince Charming of the Disney Twitter Community. Sadly, though, my big head has to take on the big muscles and darling dimples of Kevin Quigley. How do you compete with Kevin and his legion of adoring bears? Be certain that I’ll be pulling out all the stops. Could that mean you’ll see a video of me eating a turkey leg for your pleasure? Maybe.

Schmoofy vs. Kyle G.

Schmoofy vs. Kyle G.

Well, well, well. If Kevin Millar were here, he’d call these two gentlemen sneaky hot. Both of them took down sexy studs. Both of them took down guys with more Twitter followers than them. Both of them took down guys with hunky bodies and swoony smiles. How did they do it? Charm, charm, and more charm. Now they face off against each other and let this be a warning to both—you’ll need to step up your game to advance. You’re both one step closer to securing a donation for your cause and being crowned the champion of Disney March Maleness. It’s time to bring the erotic thunder, boys. Good luck!

Disney March Maleness: The Causes

Did you know that in addition to picking the Prince Charming of the Disney Twitter community, Disney March Maleness is also helping to raise awareness for great causes? The winner of the Disney March Maleness contest can designate any non-profit he wants, and I will make a $100 gift to that cause in his name. So not only to we get to tell all these studs how much we love them, but we get to raise awareness and funds for a good cause.

Below is a list of the groups the men of Disney March Maleness are playing for.

Rob Yeo: Get Connected UK

Of course our hunky British babe picked a cause that helps UK youths with a variety of issues. Get Connected runs a 24/7 help line that offers support services to the under-25 crowd. Whether a young person is dealing with homelessness, bullying, suicidal thoughts, drugs, abuse, or anything else, there is a place he/she can turn for support.

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Disney Hipster Keith: Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

I’m telling you, behind his gruff exterior Keith is really a lamb. He’s playing for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, which raises funds for cancer research, provides support for cancer patients and survivors, and raises awareness about blood cancers through its many walks, runs, and survivor story videos.

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Joe Pardo, Mr. Brett Young, Tim Tracker, & Andy Tighe: Give Kids the World

Why is Give Kids the World so popular with our studs? Because it is an amazing organization, that’s why! GKTW is a 70-acre non-profit “storybook” resort in Central Florida, where kids with life-threatening illnesses are treated to free vacations. This is a company is a favorite of many in the Disney fan community, because it let’s them share their passion with those who really need that Disney magic.

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Lorenzo Tremaine: Make-A-Wish America

As a character handler in WDW, Lorenzo always let’s the kids from Make-A-Wish skip the line. It’s just part of the extra magic he likes to provide. Make-A-Wish grants the wish of a child diagnosed with a life-threatening medical condition in the United States and its territories, on average, every 38 minutes. That a wish experience can be a game-changer. Vote for Lorenzo to grant wishes that change the lives of kids who need a little magic.

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Ricky Stump: Home for Our Troops

I love that Ricky has picked Home for Our Troops because it helps our veterans and creates jobs. Ricky just bought a house himself, so he knows what an enormous gift that is. He’s also a veteran of the US Navy, so if you have a yellow in your heart, Ricky is your man. Home for Our Troops provides mortgage-free, specially adapted homes nationwide for severely injured Veterans of post 9/11, enabling them to rebuild their lives. Their site features some amazing stories. Give them a look!

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Brandon Glover: American Heart Association

Well, this makes sense, since Brandon has my heart through and through. The American Heart Association funds innovative research, fights for stronger public health policies, and provides lifesaving tools and information to save and improve lives. We all need our heart to be strong and healthy, else how could we give it to the winner of Disney March Maleness?

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Dan (NJ_Tree): Seeing Eye

Just like Dan, seeing eye dogs are adorable, helpful, and loyal. Based in Morristown, NJ, Seeing Eye runs the oldest guide dog school in the world. Students—people who are blind or visually impaired—come to the campus to for up to 1 month to train with a new guide dog.  This organization has a rich tradition of improving the lives of the visually impaired by supplying them with a support tool that also serves as a lovable best friend.

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Guy Selga: Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital, Long Beach

I love that Guy chose a local cause. He’s the supreme Disneyland fan, so the Southern California crowd will love this choice! Miller Children’s & Women’s Hospital Long Beach provides specialized pediatric care for children and young adults, with conditions ranging from common to complex—as well as maternity care for expectant mothers—all under one roof. Only 5% of all hospitals are children’s hospitals, making them unique not only to children’s health care needs in the community, but across the region. Miller Children’s is one of only eight free-standing children’s hospitals in California.

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Turkey Leg Jeff: The Trevor Project

Young gay men are still the largest demographic to commit suicide in the United States. Though great strides have been made in the acceptance of homosexuality, The Trevor Project remains a cherished and essential part of the LGBTQ community. The Trevor Project is the leading national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24. This is my contest and this is my cause and I strongly encourage you to donate.

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Kevin Quigley: Pine Street Inn

Another local organization, Kevin is showing his Boston pride by support Pine Street Inn. For over 45 years, Pine Street Inn has provided a full spectrum of services to men and women facing homelessness. They provide permanent and transitional housing, food, street outreach, and job training and placement services to Boston’s homeless population. This is a great cause, and, as somebody who was once homeless myself, I can tell you that these types of organizations are invaluable.

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Drunk at Disney: National Multiple Sclerosis Society

Remember when I told you that Drunk at Disney had a heart of gold? Well, here’s a tearjerker: his mother has multiple sclerosis, so he is choosing to raise awareness in her honor. I lost my father to multiple sclerosis, so I know how debilitating this disease can be. The National MS Society raises funds for MS research, provides resources to MS patients, advocates for MS-friendly public policy, and raises awareness about the disease and its symptoms. Great cause. Great guy.

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Kyle G.: Child’s Play Charity

Kyle loves gaming so this is a choice that perfectly reflects his interests and warm heart. Child’s Play provides toys, books, video games, and other fun items to hospital pediatric wings. If you’ve ever had your tonsils out as a kid, or anything more severe, you know how great it is to have these hospital playrooms to calm your nerves pre-operation. They also help you heal post-surgery too. What a great choice, Kyle!

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Jordan Ghastly: Good Mews

Meow is in the mix thanks to Jordan, who chooses to support Good Mews, a no-kill animal shelter in Marietta, GA. Over the last 25 years, Good Mews has found loving homes for over 7,000 cats. They offer a full range of veterinary services, making sure our feline friends are happy and cared for.

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Gregory Lane Nichols: Bert’s Big Adventure

Similar to Give Kids the World, Bert’s Big Adventure is an organization that provides a magical, all-expenses-paid, five-day journey to Walt Disney World for children with chronic and terminal illnesses and their families. This is a heartwarming company that puts a smile on people’s faces, just like Lane does for us.

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Bret (Schmoofy): Animal Coalition of Tampa

Cute and cuddly, just like Bret, the pooches of Tampa need a place for high-quality and affordable health services. Luckily there’s ACT, which provides those services. ACT really needs your help though. Last year they lost their headquarters in a fire, but like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Animal Coalition of Tampa is raising funds for a bigger and better space so it can continue to serve the animals of the Tampa Bay area.

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Steve Reid: The Alzheimer’s Association

The Alzheimer’s Association works on a global, national and local level to enhance care and support for all those affected by Alzheimer’s and other dementias. It is the largest Alzheimer’s advocacy network and has been part of every major research advancement of the last 30 years. I’m glad that one of our hunky Disney dudes is helping to raise awareness for this great organization. Bravo, Steve!

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Matt Hansen: No Kid Hungry

Behind Matt’s dreamy blue eyes is a heart hungry to end hunger. Matt is playing for No Kid Hungry. The No Kid Hungry campaign connects kids in need with nutritious food and teaches their families how to cook healthy, affordable meals. The campaign also engages the public to make ending child hunger a national priority. A turkey leg for every child—that’s something I can get behind!

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Disney March Maleness Preview: Beasts Round 1

Disney March Maleness voting in the Beasts section of the bracket begins this Sunday, 3/22. Below is a preview of the sexy beasts that need your votes! To vote in these matches, just tweet your choice using the hashtag #DisneyMarchMagic anytime on Sunday. Be sure to @ mention the guy you’re voting for so he feels the Twitter love! The man with the most votes in each match moves on to the next round. Only one vote per prince per battle though!

Guy Selga vs. Turkey Leg Jeff

Guy Selga vs. Turkey Leg Jeff

Why You Should Vote for Guy: Ummm… he’s running against me, so you shouldn’t! Just kidding. What can I say about Guy? He’s my oldest friend in the Disney community, and I love him to death. He’s got a laid back attitude that draws you in. He’s open minded and gives everyone a fair shake. He married his high school sweetheart, which just makes me love him even more. Honestly, I can’t think of any good reason NOT to vote for Guy. Check out his blog and you’ll fall in love too.

Why You Should Vote for Jeff: Well, I’m single for starters. And seriously, if you are interested in a date, just e-mail me! No, seriously. My fragile self esteem has me dreading this contest, so buoy me with your expressions of interest. Don’t worry if you don’t live close; I love to travel.

Gaston Vs. Kevin Quigley

WDW Gaston vs. Kevin Quigley

Why You Should Vote for Gaston: No one makes love like Gaston. No one french kisses like Gaston. No one takes care of your grandmother while you’re at work like Gaston? Well, maybe not. He’s a jerk, but he’s a hot one. And this guy who plays him in the Magic Kingdom really melts my butter.

Why You Should Vote for Kevin: Easily the buffest of the beauties in the tournament, Kevin is also a really great guy. He’s got a billion interests, so you’ll never run out of things to talk about. He’s got A LOT of tattoos, so he doesn’t have commitment issues. Well, he also has a husband of 15+ years, so the commitment ship has sailed. Sorry. But let’s just say that if you are into gym selfies, muscles, Starbucks, and Spaceship Earth, Kevin’s brand of sexual thunder is bound to empty your rain clouds!

Schmoofy Vs. Mr. Brett Young

Bret T. vs. Brett Young

Why You Should Vote for Bret: Bret is always keeping us up to date with the lastest WDW #hubbub on his Twitter account. Schmoofy can often be found running from one photo op to the next. Could it be that he just hasn’t found a woman worth stopping for? Maybe, or maybe this playboy of the Magic Kingdom likes to make fireworks with lots of different ladies. We can all believe in the power of Wishes and hope he spreads a little love our way. Then all our wishes (wishes) will come true.

Why You Should Vote for Brett: Let’s be honest—if we are going on looks alone, Brett Young wins hands down. He is hot as hell. His inspirational weight loss story spawned the hashtag #GetOffTheCouch. But to be frank, I’d love to get on the couch, or the bed, with this Canadian dreamboat. He’s a teacher and a devout Christian, so you can bet he’s a nice guy. But as you can see from his picture, he likes to get dirty. Sounds like my kind of man.

Kyle Gorman Vs. Scott Barrett

Kyle G. vs. Scott Barrett

Why You Should Vote for Kyle: If I could marry one guy in this tourney, it would be Kyle. He’s cute, he’s nice, he’s adorably geeky, he’s smart, and he’s always got a smile on his face. Who doesn’t love that? He’s shacked up with the mysterious Mr. S, though, so alas, life has killed the dream I dreamed. This cute Connecticuter can drop in anytime for video games… or any other games he has on his mind!

Why You Should Vote for Scott: He’s the former co-host of the dearly missed BetaMouse podcast, but I know that he hasn’t slipped from your heart. Genuinely one of the best bros you’ll ever meet, he’s smoking hot too. What I wouldn’t give to cuddle up with him in a flying elephant or spend a little QT with him in a cave on Tom Sawyer’s Island. Alas, he’s straight and married. Seriously. Are there any single guys out there?!?!?!

Disney March Maleness Preview: Lost Boys Round 1

Disney March Maleness voting in the Lost Boys section of the bracket begins this Saturday, 3/21. Below is a preview of the studs that need your votes! To vote in these matches, just tweet your choice using the hashtag #DisneyMarchMagic anytime on Saturday. Be sure to @ mention the guy you’re voting for so he feels the Twitter love! The man with the most votes in each match moves on to the next round. Only one vote per prince per battle though!

Brandon Glover vs. Jordan Ghastly

Brandon Glover vs. Jordan Duncan

Why You Should Vote for Brandon: The smoky smile that fills my daydreams belongs to the one and only Brandon Glover. He’s cool as a cucumber even in the sweltering Florida heat. It makes you wonder what makes him burn, and the not knowing is the sexiest part about him. He’s a small business owner so you know he works long and hard to achieve his goals, whatever they might be. And ladies, I’m pretty sure he’s single. Sadly for my people, this sexy smoke monster is straight. Brandon is my personal Disney Twitter Crush Wrap Supreme. Check him out and he’s likely to be yours too!

Why You Should Vote for Jordan: Jordan is really into the paranormal, so he knows a few things about how to keep those haunts happy. He was an extra on The Walking Dead, so it’s pretty much a given that you can have a 3-way with Jordan and Andrew Lincoln. This scruffy stud puts the Hot in Hotlanta (nobody says that anymore) but with your help, you can make it HOTTERlanter. And if you’re into that sexxxy librarian look, check out those glasses!


Triggenel vs. Gregory Lane Nichols

Why You Should Vote for Trygve: He’s like a Scandinavian sex god, but in central Florida. He’s got perfect Zach Morris hair and can always be found where fun things are happening. Really, Trig’s like a butcher version of Tilda Swinton. He’s a big Universal fan, so you know his standards are pretty low. That makes him an accessible dreamboat on the Sexy Seven Seas Lagoon of Lust.

Why You Should Vote for Lane: I’ve never met him, so I’m basing this on pure looks: Lane is super cute. Since I don’t know him, I’m going to paint a picture for you… It’s late at night and you’re lost in Disney’s Animal Kingdom. You’re walking through the Maharajah Jungle Trek. There’s not another human in sight. It’s just you and the tigers. You’re scared that they will somehow get out of their pen and rip you to shreds. Suddenly you hear the sound of footsteps. You look up and there is a man with bright blue eyes and a scruffy beard. He says, “Baby, I’m here to rescue you.” An hour later you’re back at his hotel room—getting wild.

 Andrew Tighe B

Andrew Tighe vs. Dan

Why You Should Vote for Andrew: He looks like a young Ryan Gosling and he can sing. Do I need to say more? Also, maybe you’re a bit older and fancy yourself a bit of a Mrs. Robinson? How perfect, since Mr. Tighe is still in college. Get him while he’s young and unknown, ladies. But whether you’re young or old, Andrew is going to inspire dreams of canoodling, cuddling, and hitting the high C.

Why you should vote for Dan: Do you like your men big? No, I don’t mean heavy. Big. Tall, broad shouldered, with big hands. That’s Dan. He’s kind of a classic hunk. He’s got dashing good looks and he’s an all around nice guy. He works in Trenton and he STILL smiles. That’s what a positive outlook on life can do. Another in a series of tragically taken men, Dan is never far from his paramour, Justine. But that doesn’t mean we can’t dream…

Drunk At Disney VS. Jim Hill

Drunk At Disney vs. Jim Hill

Why You Should Vote for Drunkie: His skin isn’t the only thing that’s golden. Drunkie’s got a heart of gold and a Tervis Tumbler full of golden ale. But will he get the golden crown befitting the Prince Charming of the Disney Twitter community? I don’t know, but I can tell you this: when I found out that he was straight, I cried turkey leg tears of pain for hours. Then I found out he was engaged (he’s a newlywed now!) and I cried some more. There would be no drunken experimentation. No Rolling Rock rendezvous. No brewery bro jobs. Only a stud like Drunk At Disney could break my heart like that. He’s a class act, one of a kind, and we’re all inebriated with desire for our beloved Drunkie.

Why You Should Vote for Jim: I heard a rumor that Jim is a viking in the sack. But then again, one hears so many rumors these days.

Disney March Maleness Preview: Dapper Dans Round 1

Disney March Maleness voting in the Dapper Dans section of the bracket begins this Friday, 3/20. Below is a preview of the Hunky Brewsters that need your votes! To vote in these matches, just tweet your choice using the hashtag #DisneyMarchMagic anytime on Friday. Be sure to @ mention the guy you’re voting for so he feels the Twitter love! The man with the most votes in each match moves on to the next round. Only one vote per prince per battle though!

Nate Parrish vs. At Disney Again

Nate Parrish vs. @AtDisneyAgain

Why You Should Vote for Nate: Dimples. Dimples. Dimples. Nate is that studly jock from high school that was also surprisingly smart and nice. He’s got the looks, the charm, and… well, basically I can’t be objective here. Nate is hot. I mean, REALLY hot. He should pretty hard to beat, too. He’s the co-host of the popular WEDWay Radio podcasts, so he has legions of followers. I’m sure they, like me, would follow him anywhere. Maybe even straight to the finals of Disney March Maleness? We’ll see!

Why You Should Vote for @AtDisneyAgain: Well, I looked through all his Twitter pics and found none of him! Mysterious. But isn’t that a turn on? It seems he’s more comfortable on the other side of the camera; check out his fantastic photography. Here’s a big plus for Mr. Again—he’s engaged to the fabulous Melissa. Considering how awesome she is, he must be pretty singular to win her love. Unfortunately, though, that means he’s off the market. But then again, so is Nate Parrish.

Cory Disbrow vs. Ricky Stump

Cory Disbrow vs. Ricky Stump

Why You Should Vote for Cory: Another talented photographer, Cory drives the ladies and gaydies wild with his scruffy beard and sharp smile. He loves baseball too, so that’s a big plus on his side. Imagine spending a lazy summer afternoon with him in the ballpark while he shoots photos of the game. Then you can head home and “see what develops.”

Why You Should Vote for Ricky: If you like your man sweet and shy, then Ricky is for you. As friendly as they come, Ricky is on hand for all the major Disney World events. You won’t have to compromise your love for Mickey when you’re with Ricky. And just like a vote for Frank Underwood is a vote for America Works, a vote for Ricky is a vote for Stump lifestyle and Stump culture. In other words, you’re kind of voting for his wife, Meg, too.

Matt Hochberg vs. Matt Hansen

Matt Hochberg vs. Matt Hansen

Why You Should Vote for Matt Hochberg: Who wouldn’t want to sail away to a tropical paradise with Matt, the owner of Royal Caribbean Blog? You probably know him best as the host of the popular WDW Today podcast, now on it’s 8 billionth episode. Whether you are cruising the Rivers of America or the Caribbean Sea with Matt, you are certain to be enthralled with his wide smile and witty sense of humor. Oh, and did I mention?: He’s always ready to snuggle up on the couch and watch some episodes of The West Wing. Good enough for me!

Why You Should Vote for Matt Hansen: Honestly, I don’t know much about this Matt, but who cares? Look at those bright blue eyes and that sexy beard! I’d ride the tea cups with him any day. The incomparable Guy Selga predicts he’ll win it all and he just might be right. Check out Matt’s work at the Tours Departing Daily site, where you can buy some snazzy Disney parks photos.

Tim Tracker vs. Matt Parrish

Tim Tracker vs. Matt Parrish

Why You Should Vote for Tim: For starters, I bet he’d let you touch his mustache if he knew you voted for him. Also, if you are into tattoos, then Tim has you covered. Plus, with over 50,000 YouTube followers, Tim’s not afraid to show off a bit. He’s a real GoPro pro, so who knows what he’s willing to film? But don’t let your imagination get too carried away. Tim’s already got a co-star in life: his lovely wife Jenn.

Why You Should Vote for Matt: Another Matt? Another Parrish? You might think it’s overkill, but don’t pass over this dreamy co-host of the WEDWay Radio podcasts. For starters, he’s a lot nicer than his hunky brother and one must never overlook a man in glasses. He’s a fan of the Tampa Bay Rays, which probably means he’s open to pity sex. This should be a pretty great match between two very well-known Disney Twitter personalities.

Disney March Maleness Preview: Greek Gods Round 1

Disney March Maleness voting begins tomorrow in the Greek Gods section of the bracket. Below is a preview of the cutie-patooties that need your votes! To vote, just tweet your choice using the hashtag #DisneyMarchMagic. Be sure to @ mention the guy you’re voting for so he feels the Twitter love! The man with the most votes in each match moves on to the next round.

Now let’s preview the first round matches!Disneyland Hercules vs. Steve Reid

Disneyland Hercules vs. Steve Reid

Why You Should Vote for Hercules: Look at that body. Also, I’m told he’s been voted Person of the Week in every Greek opinion poll.

Why You Should Vote for Steve: He’s a music teacher, which is pretty much the most adorable profession a man can have. Also, he brews his own beer, so you would save a ton of money if you dated him. I don’t know about you, but I’m a sucker for a guy with black hair and glasses. Lastly, Steve’s Twitter profile pic features him with a cookie. That’s really all I need to know.

Lou Mongello vs. Rob Yeo

Lou Mongello vs. Rob Yeo

Why You Should Vote for Rob: A British beefcake who has been know to take a few gym selfies in his day, Rob is also a very talented graphic designer. I own a t-shirt with his Maelstrom design, and it’s like he’s close to my heart when I wear it. Alas, gay marriage is legal in the UK, which sadly for us means he will be off the market very soon. Rob is getting hitched, but that doesn’t mean we can’t dream of him wearing a nice sweater and talking to us about turkey legs with a fetching British accent.

Why You Should Vote for Lou: Good things come in small packages, right? Lou’s a nice guy, who does lots of projects for charity. He brings members of the Disney community together at his many meet-up events and in the chat section of his live podcast streams. Also, that voice! Give him a listen and you might start wondering what sweet nothings he might whisper in your ear.

Disney Hipster Keith vs. Joe Pardo

Disney Hipster Keith vs. Joe Pardo

Why You Should Vote for Keith: As a co-host of the hilarious Disney Hipster Podcast, Keith brings a perfectly briny sensibility to everything he does. Think of him as a Nihilistic class clown with piercing blue eyes and a wit as sharp as Wolverine’s claws. He’s got a bit of the bad boy angle too, so really Wolverine is a good comparison. Don’t get your hopes too high though—this Disney hottie is married to his Disney Hipster co-host Jamie. And if I know Jamie, she’ll cut you if you get too close to her man!

Why You Should Vote for Joe: Joe is the guy who is the first to volunteer for everything. He’s a classic nice guy—always smiling, always ready to offer a warm hug. Really, he’s the Olaf of the Disney community. Joe hosts the Dreamer’s Podcast, which brings you inspiring stories of people chasing their dreams and overcoming adversity. It’s the perfect outlet for his boy-next-door personality. Plus, he runs marathons so you know he’s got stamina. But unfortunately, he’s taken too. But what did you expect? All the nice guys are taken, right?

Len Testa vs. Lorenzo Tremaine

Len Testa vs. Lorenzo Tremaine

Why You Should Vote for Lorenzo: This Brooklyn boy knows how to treat a lady like a princess! He should—he works as a character handler in WDW, so he spends a large part of his days with the princesses of the most magical place on Earth. Lorenzo is a bit of an Instagram celebrity, with over 4,000 followers. It’s clear that the masses are in love with his cool styles and model good looks. He’s straight and (I think) single, so be sure to let him know how you feel, ladies! Who knows, you might just get to experience the #FestivalOfLorenzo.

Why You Should Vote for Len: The man behind Touring Plans has got you covered—he’s a bona fide genius, an author of travel guides that have sold millions of copies, and one of the most generous guys around. Len is a man you’ll want to cuddle with in his palatial North Carolina estate. Forgive the fact that he’s a Steelers fan and create a touring plan of love with this entrepreneurial mensch. Just don’t get too cozy… Len is taken. Sigh. We’ll always have the All Star Resorts, Len.

Disney March Maleness

I love March Madness. I love Disney. I love Twitter. I love hot guys. So let’s put all of that together and vote for our Disney Twitter Prince Charming! Over the next few weeks, I’ll be accepting votes on Twitter for a winner of the inaugural Disney March Maleness tournament.

It’s simple: I’ve taken 29 Disney tweeps and tossed them into a bracket with yours truly and a couple of hunky Disney characters. Each day on twitter, I’ll call for votes in specific matches. You can vote once per match. Be sure to use the hashtag #DisneyMarchMaleness when you vote! The winner of each head to head matchup moves on to the next round. Let’s take a look at the bracket:

Disney March Maleness BracketI can already see some tough decisions in the first round. Who will you pick to win it all? Choose wisely—the winner will have $100 donated in his name to the charity of his choice, so be sure to ask who each guy is playing for. As for me, I will be playing for The Trevor Project, which provides crisis management and suicide prevention services to the LGBT community.